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You can look, but you can't touch
I don't think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what you've got to prove.
I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it.
Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you.
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you.
I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fail, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole.
Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me.
Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you, baby, it's all right.
XD Damn straight! *falls over laughing* Sadism!
Laura's Levels Of Hell |
0. Heaven: Laura's friends, people who meet her most stringent standards for not sucking, people who figured out how to pass the quiz, and people who like Susan.
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1. Purgatory: People who pluralize (or possesify) non-plural or possessive establishments, i.e. "Barnes and Noble's," "Costco's" and "Eckerd's," people who refer to kissing or fornicating as "hooking up," people who hate macs, and people who watch too much television.
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2. The Boring and Grammatically Incorrect: Compulsive askers of "whats up?" "what's happening?" "how are you?" "what's your major" and instigators of other small talk, people who misuse object and subject pronouns, people who constantly speak or write in the passive voice, and people who type LOL too much.
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3. The Young and Misguided: People who care where other people buy their clothes and talk about things being "trendy" and "selling out," people who try to be random and talk about squirrels all the time, people who fancy themselves either nerds or avid fans of any or all of the following: Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, anime.
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4. The Idiots: Boys who say they like blow jobs and posters of women with big boobs and feel manly for doing so, girls who like those kind of boys, fraternity members, sorority members, people who talk about liking beer or pot too much, people who punctuate with "yo," and the Dave Matthews Band.
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5. The Wavering: Democrats who voted for nader in the 2000 election, Democrats who didn't vote in the 2000 election, people who don't think that Bush is "that bad" or who had no stance on the recent war, yet attest to being 'political' and yet are otherwise politically noncommittal.
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6. The Miscellaneous Hates: Vegans who wear leather, smokers who worry about eating healthy, people who steal their friends' boyfriends or girlfriends, say mean things about their best friends behind their backs, or don't think Laura's funny.
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7. The Hipster Fucks: People who say they like sarcasm and irony. People who are smarmy. People who listen to music they don't really like, watch movies they don't really like, wear trucker hats, say things like "rock out" and "hip" all for the sake of irony.
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8. The Immorally-moral: Republicans, SUV drivers, suburb dwellers, people who homeschool their children, the religious right, other anti-abortionists, including ones who shoot abortion doctors, assholes, people who think that porn is sinful, jerks, and people who think "Taylor" and "Madison" are nice names for babies.
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| Where will Laura send you? (The first place she's sending you is mewing.net) |
XD Yay! I'm going to the right Hell!
what's your battle cry? |
mewing.net | merchandise!
take the virgin-whore dichotomy quiz.
and go to mewing.net. where we're all studs.
Contact Me
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Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Screw the Fuckers of the World!! LOL!
Well, for now I’m in a good mood! XD Just finished my morning call with Kym, after she wakes up and before I go to sleep. That’s how messed up my sleeping habits are now.
I reeeeally don’t want to go to Michigan with my grandparents. We leave for two weeks starting Saturday, I’m still trying to get out of it… bleh. Not to mention school is going to start soon.
And I’m having those psycho baby feelings again. XD I’m DESPERATE to baby-sit for Mel, my mom’s friend. Her sons are both very young, one’s still a baby. ^^ And for some reason I have to be around kids now. I’m all depressed because there are no kids around for me to take care of. Then this morning around four-ish I was watching Full House because nothing was on, and they had Michelle in her nursery, and then I had one of my psycho moments where I wanted to be able to clean up some nursery and take care of the baby… My hormones are SO out of whack, its not even funny. This isn’t supposed to happen til ya hit MENOPAUSE! XDD!
I also read this thing from this book my grandma bought me, mostly because I didn’t wanna read Harry Potter or anything. Too.. Er.. Stressful! XD Anyway, and it was talking about how girls without fathers go about relationships with guys, and I’m like, “Yay! In a messed-up way, I AM normal!” Then I got depressed, because that’s what being normal does to you.
I wanna see if Kym’s idea would work, betting me off in exchange for a cigarette… long story… okay, not really, but whatever.
I need a job. I wanna work with kids. <.< Badly. I’d work at some daycare with all the little munchkin monster things. And I’d be happy. XD Luckily I wouldn’t wanna do it full time. So nobody rape me and say they’re doing me a favor! LOOK AT MY SIDE SECTION! Don’t fuck with me, loser. Literally.
XD I’m so hyper…
Ah, speakin’ of babies! My aunt is begging us to fly to Vegas ASAP to see her new baby, born over the weekend. Her name is Amanda… its nice, but I was thinking of something more original… whatever, not MY baby. I do wanna go, both to see the baby and to just be in Vegas… go to the casino my aunt works at… yeah.
Oh, and I thought of a thingie this morning. Why I get bored with boyfriends.
“Boyfriends are just my friends who I flirt with, sometimes exclusively, so it doesn’t matter. Until the ‘exclusive’ part gets tired. Then you break up.”
Yeah… that’s it…
Or I’m like my dad and I don’t like being tied down to one person. Monogamy…
Or… or… maybe… I’m just whore-ish. XD *points to side thing again*
I am so hyped up on Lipton tea and Coca-Cola its not even FUNNY. Okay, actually, it is. XD Only in a bad way. Which is actually good. Because I keep contradicting myself. Which I find funny.
I am cold. Cold cold cold cold. The AC is too high but I dun feel like turning it down. Because I am a bum. *sighs* Oh well.
I think me and Kym are going out again on Friday… we might see Anchorman. Only I am concerned for her financial welfare! “I’m broke.. Wait! I got money! Nevermind. No, I’m not broke, I have money.” I told her to hit up her parents, only she won’t do it.
Which reminds me, my mom owes me $45.
Eh… I’ll just call it even when I order my new CD player from Overstock.com. I have two… one the headphones won’t work out of one ear because the connections shorted (I just bought it last summer dammit) and the other lasted me for four years… so its too old to play burned Cds. XD Which sucks. And the battery door thingie falls off sometimes. And I wouldn’t mind, because I like the duct tape look, but the burned cd thing makes me mad. Tee hee.
Uhh… I’m running out of things to ramble on… well, there’s a rumor William Hung is dead. Anybody see the full suicide note? I only got to read part of it. I dunno if I believe he really IS dead though, since everybody’s be talking about it, and I only saw it on obscure sites… so… bleh. Drug overdose… yeah…
I. Have. So. Many. Issues.
Well, I’m off to glomp the pirates.
So Much Sexier Than Inuyuki/Dalton,
Amaya/Ashley
Posted at 09:51 am by Ashley-ness
Saturday, June 19, 2004
I listened to a song called Beg....
It was a damn good song.
Anyway. I was just thinking back on past boyfriends.
They were all kind of psychotic. Oo Wonder why. Like Josh. I dun remember if I told Kym much about Josh. I know I told Burly, but only to vent about my scary eighteen year old boyfriend. o_o
...I dumped him... yes. I do that alot though, I usually get people out of my life before they can do that to me.
Well, at least with my boyfriends. I hate that. -x.x-
Especially when they start to pressure me. not to DO anything, not like that. <.< I mean, I dunno, like Josh was always talking about planning out our lives and blah blah blah, he didn't care what happened to him as long as he could wait for me, and he couldn't live without me.
I got scared.
I ran.
This cliche plays out a lot... Josh was kinda scary (read the old letters. The one thing I didn't shred or burn.) sometimes, so that was a factor, but I play the same part every time. Its more like I get into these things for the companionship, and the feeling that somebod cares, but I get too scared if I let a guy get close to me.
Keep it distant, keep it vauge.
I even remember my boyfriend from the fourth grade. - - He asked me to come over to his house to play, so I wouldn't speak to him anymore. I know, pointless and it doesn't mean anything, but the pattern is still here.
I don't know what I'm afraid of. I think I'm afraid of myself and what I'd do if I let myself be hurt. I've never been dumped since I always break up with them before I let that happen. And if I am hurt I numb it and don't let it show. I pretend like I don't care, and my performance is so well done I confuse myself. But if I was really hurt by someone I trusted, I don't know...
Anyway, I'm not going to talk about that anymore.
Um... I went to Cruise Night a few days ago. I got hit on a few times by drunk guys. The first one I let slide, only because I was fawning over his car. It was purple. (^^; ) I wanted that cute little car. SO the owner dude (who was young but drunk, and I'm no longer single XD singularity didn't last long for me this time) wouldn't stop talking to me. Later I left, I got an iced tea, and coming out some other guy hit on me, asking if I wanted to go for a ride with him and his friends.
I gave him the 'My Glare of Dooooom, then said, "I know your vision's a bit screwed over right now, but this is iced tea, not beer, and you'll have to try harder than that." *swishes jean skirt and stalks off*
Yeah... the end of that part.
My bedtime is officially at nine in the morning now. I sleep til about four when Kym calls me. It's a nice wake-up call. ^^ Then I get up, call my mom, take a shower, get all Ashley-ed up and head out if my mom's out getting drunk somewhere. Since I have time to kill, might as well murder it.
Come home around nine if I went out, if not I'm already there and I've been watching TV, drawing, writing, or listening to music..../singing along a lot louder than I realize.... XD Then I hang upside down from the couch for an hour til Burly calls me on my cell phone so I don't pass out and we talk for a while, from eleven to twelve I growl at my mom (if she's home) (and not passed out from drinking) to get off the phone with her boyfriend so I can get online at midnight. That usually doesn't work so I have to wait til three am to get on. I talk to Sel, and Jesse (only he's GONE! Til the end of the weekend ^^; ), and Senturo, and whoever else is on that I feel like talking to, roleplay, fix my EZBoard since it has issues (well, it's a nice board for only being two weeks old, I guess), then whenever my five hours for the day is up (seven or eight am) I start ushering my hungover mother to work and watch QVC while drawing cause I'm bored, then at nine I go to sleep.
Once in a while I work an actual meal in instead of coffee, tea, or Kool-Aid. Either when my mom is actually home around dinnertime, forcing me to actually cook, or before I go to sleep in the morning.
Today I took a shower with my old music really loud, and I was belting it out in there. XD I was so bored I dried my hair, straightened it, did my makeup, put on my other jean skirt and my old Urban Rootz t-shirt, my black sandals, and I found my blue J-Lo hat and I wore that too. And I was still belting it out to my karaoke machine, which is my new stereo since I have yet to set up my old one. Oo
Only then I got depressed since there was nowhere to go, at least, nowhere I could walk to and felt like going by myself. I was going to go downtown, but nothing was going on tonight and I had no cash to -make- something go on. So I hung upside down from the couch and complained to Burly when she called (very early for her too) and we watched part of Carrie. Only she got freaked and turned it off, so it was mostly just me. I stopped watching when it hit midnight and got online. We were talking about Jeremi and Eric, and some other stuff too... that consisted of... something related to Jeremi and/or Eric... I think. O_o Then we pointed out our character flaws... like mine is being way too comfortable in a guy's dressing room.
Corey forced me. It's not my fault Folmer had to be an idiot about it in a weird way.
"What'cha doing in here?"
"Corey said I have to help you all change." *sweatdrop if they was real Oo*
"oh. Can we have sex with you?"
"No."
"Damn."
Then he shut and locked the door, and I just sat down crossing my legs, looking amused.
I had bodyguards with me so I was safe.
Well, okay, Tony kinda molested me a little bit but we all expected that. x.x And Corey saved meh, kinda.
Wow, that was a long time ago...
I miss those days. Oo
Not the molesting part.
Uh, I'm not doing Dreamers Workshop. The lady called me five times so far wanting to know why I haven't applied yet. Whatever... my mom won't pay for it, and she wouldn't like it even if I got the scholarship... plus I doubt I'm good enough. :/ Especially since I know a few people going anyway. I'd feel out of place.
Well, anywho, I'm going to have some more stupid things happen before I get some sleep.
Bai-bai
Posted at 05:06 am by Ashley-ness
Friday, June 18, 2004
((THis should have been up before but the comp saved it instead of posting it Oo))
Kym says I have to update.
So here I ish.
Okay, we'll start back a while. I won that choir thing for Broadway, and I won Most Outstanding freshman. So now I have another pretty trophy-like thing. Woo. That was weeks ago. Anyway, the last two days of school were finals, and I totally blew them off in a typical Ashley way. I got a D on the algebra final!! that felt so cleansing! I got a B in the class. I didn't try since I had to get an A to keep my A, so I was like 'screw it'. Ummm... On the first day, we left school (me, Kym, Amy, and Katy) during our free period and got milkshakes, Katy got a five finger discount on gum (XD) and we went to the park and took over the swings. And scared kids. Then we used my cell phone to call Jeremi and they left a really nice message on his machine... Oo
I tried to get people to cut the algebra final with me. Jesse was gonna, but then Mr. Nissley closed the door. Oo XD
Last day, I skimmed through all my finals and then we all saw Harry Potter. The End.
All last week I talked to Kym on the phone a million times a day. We were calling back and forth since we have no lives like that. ^^ Me and Jesse had a lot of interesting IM conversations... XD
Then on Saturday my mother went on her first date since I ruined her life by being concieved. I had to put together an outfit for her with MY clothes and shoes and accessories, then I did her hair and makeup. It was sad. Oo Then she gets in a 'Vette and drives off with him. Later my uncle came to get me since I was pondering if I could do a cartwheel down the stairs in boredom, which is NOT a good thing. We saw Stepford Wives that night, then got something to eat. All night we got funny looks. My uncle got some really dirty ones. everybody thought I was his date or something and he was a dirty old man. I'm too hot tonight to be his niece! XD Then later he kept sighing about how mature I was getting and he didn't know when I got so gorwn up, blah blah blah, all that junk. And he's like, "Okay, you could pass for twenty, easily, I have to start dressing you down if I wanna take you anywhere." And here's me: ".....'kay." Then he went on to how I even act a lot older than I should sometimes and stuff I say surprises him, and that I understand a lot that he didn't think I would since I'm barely fifteen, and when you're fifteen you don't give a fuck. Blah blah blah, tell me something I don't know. I think I've been reincarnated a feeeew too many times for my own good.
Then yesterday, me and Kym went to the mall. My mom easily tossed over fifty bucks when I dug through her purse for money-- she was in a good mood from her date the night before. - -
Anyway, so we went to the mall and I got Chobits volumes one and two, and the first DNAngel. I was happy. *does happy dance* *keels over*
I read all three yesterday. Anyway, then we saw 50 First Dates. That was so funny! XD Then we went home. Oo; I was reading Chobits, Volume Two when my cell rang, and guess who it was? Jeremi! He's out of Boot Camp, finally. So he called back on my house phone. I talked to him for a while, which was nice after a week and a half. ^^ He kept saying how much he'd missed hearing my voice. And that I somehow sounded, "younger, you actually sound happy." I know, I'm usually so pissed off at everything that it bleeds through to everything else. I have a negative energy now, methinks. But I guess it was a good thing, since he mentioned it. I don't even know why I was happy. I usually don't. It wasn't really happy, it was.... content. Cheerful. I don't get like that without forcing myself to much. it's usually just hyper. Hyper is a good way to channel anger, methinks. <.< Anyway. So. I talked to him for a while and then he had to go since it was storming out in Ohio. ^^;
After that I finished my mangas and fixed dinner for my mom and me. Then I got online around ten and didn't get off til about three. Oo After THAT, I got out the sketchbook and spent until seven doing that. Then my mom got up and gave me funny looks for being awake. And I bugged her for being late for work. Then she told me to go away. ^^ Later she went to work, and I watched TV til about eight. Then I had breakfast. XD Then at nine I went to sleep. I slept through to three in the afternoon. Six hours is a lot for meh. Oo Then I got up and drew some more, happy about how my Takuya pic turned out that morning after seeing it again. I started another, then a Toshi, and an Amaya, but those all sucked. XD Reread some manga... decided I needed more. Then my mom came home in a good mood chirping "What's for dinner?!" I said nothing, then she poked me and said, "You got to sit at home ALL DAY eating bon-bons and you didn't think about dinner?'
I have no idea what a bon-bon looks like, I dun think I'd liek it. XD Anyway, then I said, "Well, if I was eating bon-bons, why would I think about having DINNER?" And she cracked up, called me a jerk-ass, and walked off.
Yeah, my mom's a mental case sometimes.
Not as much as me.
Now here I am. And I'm re-bored.
Is that updated 'nuff, Kym?
Posted at 02:16 am by Ashley-ness
Monday, May 10, 2004
The most pointless titleness ever in the history of titles
Half is better than nothing. ^_^ Like half a cookie. Or half a pound of Demon Sugar. Savvy?
XD He still kept it, now he went through my new ones... the Amaya ones. One with a sword caught his eye. XD He wants one that looks like Lucy Lu from Kill Bill. Posted at 04:19 pm by Ashley-ness
The title without a real title
Hmm... Okay, you only listen to me half the time.
o.o Ish it Touya? Hehe...sorry I thought what he did was kinda cool.
Posted at 03:07 pm by Sukiru
Okies dokies. Yeah, ezmail is screwed up. Oo;;;
And I do listen to you, sometimes, about important stuff.
Are you sure about that?
Um... Today... I cut school. I watched a movie. Now I have to do my homework, and finish that drawing for my uncle before he comes to get me around five. Woo.
Posted at 02:18 pm by Ashley-ness
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
No, I don't mind it. I kinda miss being called by that nickname. ^^ Anyway, I don't really think there would be an akward silence. I haven't called anyone in over a year, but that because I have nothing to say to them. Since we usually find something to talk about I don't think that'll happen. And I sent you mine to ashlieangel. *remember that the ezmail took forever last time she sent something*
I think I might of forgotten somethng, but I'm sure I'll remember later.
You don't listen to meh anyway. *shrug*
Maybe it is. o.o;
Posted at 01:18 pm by Sukiru
Okies, Sel. *using nicknames still cause she is TIRED oo* Just didn't know if you wanted me to use it. ^^ Some people are weird about that. Heh, us on the phone, either dead tired of laughing our heads off... nice combination.... later when I have time I'll send ya an ezmail with meh number in it. I'm just afraid there will be this big akward silence.
"Hi Ashley!"
"Hi!"
"...................."
"..................."
"So yeah."
"Uh-huh."
But like I even have to worry, cause we're both crazy. =P
I was bored so I woulda typed the summary even if you told meh not to.
Oo Y'know, reading stuff I type can't be good for your health.
Posted at 09:34 am by Ashley-ness
Sunday, May 09, 2004
You don't have to call me Sukiru. You can call me by my real name.
Really, I don't mind the way you talk to me, just as long as you're comfortable. (Yes, I'm use to the moodyness and everything inbetween. ) I can give you my phone number or somethin' if you'd like? O.o Then you could call me whenever and will go nuts over the phone too. XP
Summary! Aw, how nice of you, but you didn't have to (seriously)!
Sounds like oddles of fun. Oh, yeah. And I read your update from today...and the last two that I somehow missed. Yeah, I've been so aware of everything. X.x
Posted at 11:56 pm by Sukiru
Um, Joy, I think you're on something... its kinda funny...
*is shaken* I know Sukiru, and I'm just being stupid... I mostly meant people around here though. I know YOU actually give a damn what happens. It sucks that I don't get to talk to you more often. And when I do I hate acting like I do in this stupid blog 'cause I know I won't talk to you again for a while. Gomen for the moodyness... but, I think you're used to it. <.<
It was good, though we walked in two minutes before it started. Oo It started out with Dracula having Dr Frankenstien create his moster, then the village attacks and the Doctor is killed. Oo Pretty. THen we meet Van Helsing, who is freaking cool, and who's hat I wanna steal. He is a sort of hly man murderer dude, working for some secret organisation of monks and friars or something, and its his job to kill things that harm mankind. His next mission was to go after Dracula to save the two remaining people in a family sworn to kill him, or they can't go to Heaven. Something like that. Anyway, he goes and meets the two, and totally falls for the girl. Then... the VAMPIRES ATTACK! Yay! And they almost die. But the whole deal is, Dracula needs Frankensteins's monster to be the key to waking his children... But yeah. I'm not gonna say much else cause it would kill the movie, but the whole time I was tense cause stuff kept making me jump. Which is pretty hard to do.
Anyway, not much happened after that. We got Starbucks, Amy gave me Advil for my headache, then we went home. I had a headache 'cause it was almost seven o'clock, and the only thing I ate that day was breakfast at eight in the morning, which was just some bacon cause I don't like breakfast. So I was kinda out of it. And had a headache. And that didn't make me any more happy.
Then I went home and wrote... I updated my Return fic, this one's a songfic that I always thought was very Amaya-Seratoru ish. Then I passed out cause I didn't get any sleep the night before and didn't eat anything. So yeah. My day in a nutshell.
Posted at 09:59 am by Ashley-ness
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